Reality Show Parodies

Yes, these are oldies but damn, still goodies....

Those dreary winter blues means sitting at home in front of the TV, watching those fun-filled reality shows.

Here are a few ideas kicking around for new shows which SHOULD be on the air. Now, some ideas are great, some good, and some quite rightly bite.

But hey, creavity sometimes means a lousy idea or two. And even if only ONE of these ideas sell, well, that means LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS of cash. Without further adieu I bring you these Reality Show ideas:

PRE MENSTRUAL ISLAND

What could be more interesting, more gut wrenching, then to watch three strapping young men forced to live on an Island for four weeks with threegroups of pre-menstrual women?! See the women, whine, complain, nag, moan....watch them scarf down piles of salty chips and enough chocolate to sink a battleship. Will our three young men be able to "survive" this hell on earth with their sanity intact, or will they decry heterosexuality for the pre-menstrual-less quiet of other men? If this ain't Must see TV I don't know what the heck is.

TEXAS 7 ISLAND:

You remember those fearless 7 who broke out of a Texas Prison and evaded capture for weeks don't you? Of course you do, and while you may have been frightened to know those lunatics were loose, you still, deep down inside, kinda admired the way they busted out an alluded law enforcement for weeks on end with nary a sighting. Well, we've put these men on their very own private island.

The idea is that they have to "escape" the island and make it back to civilization alive and in tact. The Island will be surrounded by man-eating sharks, pirranahs and all sort of monsters. The island will be crawling with yee-ha white trash hunters out for blood and a nice new pair of shoes!

There will be all kinds of surprises for our fearless convicts behind every corner, as booby traps, lunatics and nuclear arsenals will be ready to stop them from leaving the beautifiul white sand of the island paradise. The convicts have three weeks in which to scheme, plot and build a boat to get their butts off the island. If they are successful, they win a week's vacation in Disney Land and TV priviliges for a month in the clink.

If they aren't successful, they'll be executed LIVE by a Texas firing squad right on NATIONAL TV. Which in and of itself is a new show. Oh, and by the way, please don't point out that there are nowonly 6 convicts left. No kidding. The show is called the Texas 7 still cause we've taken the corpse of the dead one and hung it on a flag pole on the island. Call it our own personal show mascot....


MODEL ISLAND


Sure, on the surface it sounds boring. We take five Super Models and put them on a tropical Island together. You're thinking, hey...sun, sand, half naked bodies. But au contraire my friends...These models are placed on the island with NO make up, no tweezers, no razors, no combs, no hair dryers, no curlers, no shampoo.

We put these beauties down on the island with a bar of soap, a toothbrush, tube of toothbrush and a small travel size deodorant. As for clothes, they have a few jeans, white Tshirts, 5 pairs of underwear and socks, a bra and a pair of sneakers! Eh gads. Watch the transformation over 30 days as these cover girls go from beauty to beast. See the drama as they must actually initiate conversations with one another, without the adulation of fans and photographers to sustain their gigantic egos.

They must fend for themselves and do it looking worse then a long island house frau on welfare. Which ever model doesn't go insane, will be our grand prize winner of a complete makeover and dinner at the Mcdonalds of their choice. The losers will be locked up in an insane asylum and force-fed actual food, while having their hands restrained behind their backs so they can't stick fingers down their throat. Ahh, the drama!

WHO WOULD YOUR RATHER SLEEP WITH?

A new TV game show that dares to ask that excellent question and then makes the contestants actually have to "do" one of two choices. For example: "Ms Jones, you are stuck on a desert island and there is a gun to your head. You must choose one or the other. Who would you rather sleep with, this bloodied, headless corpse of that recently assasinated Political leader or TV Comedian Carrot Top?"

Ms Jones will have to choose one of them, and she'll have to actually sleep with the one she chooses right on camera! The longer the contestant is able to"do" their choice, the more money they win. Last two minutes, you win $1000, five minutes $5000, ten minutes, $10,000. If the contestant can do it for twenty minutes they win a grand prize of $100,000 dollars. If they refuse either of the choices, they are brutally killed and used as bait for the pirannahs and sharks of "Texas 7" Island.

BOUNTY HUNTER FOR A DAY

Yes, you can be a bounty hunter for a day! You'll get to chase bail jumpers and kill them, in any way or manner that you desire! You wanna drill a large screw through their skulls? You can do it! You wanna gut them and use their skin for lamp shades? Go for it! Wanna stab them til they are a mess of bloody pulp? No problem!!!

Yes, you can kill these societal menances and do it free from any type of prosecution or legal consequences!!!! Get out your aggression and relieve your violent tendencies, all the while ridding the good old USA of these evil criminal menances! "Bad boys bad boys whatcha ya gonna do,watchya gonna do when they come to kill you..."