CUTE BABY NIECES OF THE DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OR ANY DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BECAUSE YOU JUST CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF LOST (OR MAYBE IT'S JUST ME) HERE IS THE EXPANDED EDITION OF THE SEASON FIVE POSTER!






DRAMA INCIDENT OF THE DAY

So I decide to go out all by my lonesome (I know, not a big deal for most, but for me, yes, it is pretty damn monumental so shut up and give me accolades) okay, enough digressing. I go and drop off my rent check for Dec and get my mail (mostly junk with two bill and some Magazines about the Jennifer/Brad/Angelina "drama") and with that done I head over to Walmart. Of course, Walmart is a flipping zoo with cars going this and that way. I finally find a spot. I get out of the car and off I roll into the store. I buy my things and head out. All is well and fine. I have made it alive thus far. I get into the car, dismantle the wheelchair and then get out on the otherside with my crutches. I shut the door. OOPS part of the sweater I was wearing is stuck inside. No big deal, the door isn't locked so I try and open it. It WON'T OPEN! I try tugging on the damn thing. No deal. This bugger was not coming out of there without a fight. As I was contemplating on what to do (take off sweater and try and pull it or let it drag while I drive???) Some nice gentleman stopped his car right in the middle of the lane and helped me. It took a bit of trying but we got it out. It was stuck on something inside the door that is why it wouldn't just pull out. And so we see, I cannot even go to Walmart of all places without something happening. Well there's never a dull moment. And dude who helped me, THANK YOU THANK YOU. I told him that to his face though and how much I appreciated it. When someone is nice you have got to let them know your appreciation. Good people are difficult to come by.


BRITNEY SPEARS

Please Lord, for the love of all that is holy get this chicks new song "You're a womanizer" out of my head. I hated it when I first heard it and now I think, no..could I like it? Anyway, it's going through my brain and I would like it to stop. Now.

THE ADVENTURE CONTINUES: LOST SEASON FIVE POSTER!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT WILL HERETOFORE BE KNOWN AS THE "RED TRUCK INCIDENT"

Okay I wake up and for once I am in not such a depressed crappy mood. So I get up and turn on the computer--as one does--and then called my mother to tell her I'd be over in about an hour or so to go shopping. Well, first I decide I better take my happy pill so I go into the kitchen and what lovely surprise do I see on the floor but one of those big black beetle bug things (Janis you know what I mean)-- I wasn't worried cause the damn thing was struggling on its back so I just got a wad of tissue and smashed it to death. HA HA. Think you can scare me Mr. Bug? Got ya good! Well, I was about to get payback.

So, there I am all dressed and I even bathed, did hair and make up (which I haven't done in awhile--and I don't mean the bathing part!) I put on my $300 Channel Glasses, grabbed my $100 Guess bag and outside I go. Okay it's a little cool and windy but what the hell, my pill is kicking in now so I get to the outside and right in front, right by the cross bars near the next handicapped spot is the most gigantic red truck straight from hell my friends. I kid you not! It blocked the only cut in the pavemenet I could get down and there was no where else to go to get to my car (no alternate routes as it were) I see a small space and like an idiot decide to try it. Well there goes me, my designer glasses, handbag and wheelchair onto the pavement. Thankfully the only one hurt was me. Damn I can't afford $300 Chanels now baby. Now across the way I think I hear someone say "she fell" but did one person come to my aid? NO. Did one person ask if I needed any help? NO. Was I okay? NO. Where in the holy hell is the humanity in this world. But, unlike that bug in my kitchen, I got back up, picked up my self, my designer stuff (as well as my dignity) and went about my day. Oh and Kudos to me folks I actually called the apartment place and bitched them out!!! See I am getting something of a back bone!

MCDONALDS SWEET TEA

I said it before and I will say it again, Micky D's makes a damn fine sweet tea of which I am drinking as I am writing this blog. This stuff is gold baby. This, Krispy Kreme Donuts and LOST-- That my fellow peeps, is a reason to live.


ESTEE LAUDER HOLIDAY GLAMOUR BEAUTY GIFT

Okay, I relented. I bought it for myself. You know I love my make up and my Estee and--well damn I deserved it. Hopefully my father doesn't peruse this blog or I will be hearing about spending and budgets and all that crap that I already know about. Oh crap, gotta pay my rent the first is at hand but...........

WORKING ON FRIDAY

I volunteered to work on Friday. It was a holiday for the company (not anymore when good old Walgreens buys us out but that's another story kiddies) so anyway, I get paid my regular day and then I get paid my reg pay + over time. Ooooh, see that helps pay for Estee!! I have done some here and there other OT and I work the Sat after Xmas which because I am not taking a day off in its place (why should I it's a short week anyway) those 6 hours will all be OT. God darn it but do I love Money. And Desmond. And McDonalds Sweet tea. And Lost. And......well you get the point.

FORGOTTEN 80's SONG:

Remember "What are words for...." by Missing Persons. They also had another hit " Destination Unknown" and perhaps one more than my trivia loaded brain can hold in the memory banks. But hey there were perfect for MTV. I think that MTV should trot out all the old MTV starts of the early 80's and then show us side by side pics of what they looked like in their hey day. My god, that is an awesome idea. I know I would watch and gather my non existent friends (well we can chat via cell) and point at everybody and laugh my little head off. I need to go pitch this to MTV now, so good night.

THE BRITNEY SPEARS LIDDSVILLE CONNECTION

Yes, there is one. Listen to her new song--yes I know it's not gonna be easy but just do it and shut up. Now, before she sings that god awful chorus of "You're a womanizer womanizer...." she says a load of stuff that sounds exactly like it's from the theme song of the Liddsville TV show. Listen, it's true! Maybe Britney should remake all the 70's kid cartoon theme songs. I think that "Pufnstuf" would be the real career maker she's been searching for.


SCRAPBOOKING

Putting pictures in an album without adding stupid weird ornament crap, sparkly crap, captions and other dumb propaganda the craft stores sells you is not the same thing as two other scrapbook wackos I could name!


LOST

Oh how that ticker keeps going down and down and down. Soon my Desmond, soon...

CUTE BABY PICTURE OF THE DAY: MY FRIEND AUDREY'S SON CODY!!!

TODAY

Wel l Today I kepy myself busy and went to the Library and got a zillion books to read. Then went to Lunch at McDonld's and had a yummy sweet tea. Mmmm. Love those sweet teas. Then , headed to Michael's craft stores where I picked up some photo album/scrap album stuff where I intend to keep my mind busy and put some pics and momentos away in a book that I've been meaning too. Got the stuff on clearance too so you can't beat that, and my dad paid for lunch so I was doing A okay. Then rounded out the day by heading to Walmart to do food shopping where I spent the last of the GC Pooh gave me (thanks Pooh!!!) and on the way home called and talked to my bambinos Maddie and Megan. So all in all a busy day that kept my mind occupied. The Klonopin seems to help somewhat during the day but not at night so I will relay that bit of news to the good old Dr when I call tomorrow at 11:15. And that my friends, was my super duper exciting Sunday!!!

SIDE NOTE

Mom, I'm sorry you are upset by what I said. I sometimes think without thinking, if that makes any sense. If I hurt you, I am sorry. I am feeling crappy too and that does not bring out the best out of anyone. Let's try to work through this and get to being as happy as one can be in the lovely world we called life. It sucks, but it's a better alternative then death for the most part.

CUTE BABY PICTURE OF THE DAY. DOES ANYTHNG MORE NEED TO BE SAID???

Yes folks that's right only 67 more days til the supreme awesomeness of LOST is back once again. Please hurry. Please!!!!!!!!

Let's get away from the boring psych crap and gaze at some Man Candy. MMM me wanna lick!!!!

PSYCH VISIT

Well seems as though the lexapro I was on can make people worse so, due to that lovely fact, I am now off it. My diagnosis? Well in less than 90 mins it was something like social biopolar disorder. Not the manic high/lows which is what I thought but in the family so to speak. I am now on a baby dose of Zoloft and Klonopin. Took them both. The Klonopin did zip for me. I asked for Xanax or well hinted at it, but Nooooooo. When I call the good doc on Monday I will tell her it does squat. I have to have blood work done too to rule out thyroid or other issues. I see the shrink again on Dec 3rd. So far not sure how I feel about her but I'll try it for awhile. It may be that this was just the original diagnosis time (to figure it out) and go from there. She did talk more about heself then me. Helllooooo I need meds but I also need to talk. If she bites I will get a new one and a dude this time cause so far all the women I've seen have been as helpful as nothing. Sorry can't come up with a wittier analgoy. May be the meds. So that is my exciting psych visit except let's see, when I went to Walmart to get the meds, at first I couldn't find my prescription (It was between the passenger seat and the door) then the keys (door wasn't locked) which were out of the ignition and resting on that cup holder thing that comes out of the dashboard. Then inside the store I couldn't find my cell phone. I'm telling you it was a comedy of errors. I took a Klopin after and at least I didn't cry. Oh yeah then my battery practically was dead in the phone but I had a spare so all was saved. I will have to do some recharging this weekend.

Work is going good though. I am going in an hour early every day except Monday and I work the day after Thanksgiving which is all OT. So I will have money for Xmas gifts yipee. Don't really want to think about the holidays though as they are gonna suck cause I'll miss my friends, family and nieces. I may need a few klonopin that day or perhaps she'll give me something better. Or, I can beg my mother for some of her valium.!!!!! I have enough meds to open my own apothecary.

PINK

You know the singer, not the color. I heard her song "So what" on the radio and I really liked it. I'm not a pink fan per se but it was catchy. I added it to my playlist. Just thought you'd be interested to know. And if you aren't too bad you had to read it anyway didn't ya?


THANKS POOH

I got the book "Ghost Hunters" you sent and I will read it this weekend. It was thoughtful of you to think of me and send it. I love getting non junkmail. Not that I'm hinting to anyone else or anything......No, course not.


THANKS FOR BEING THERE

Audrey, Janis and Paula you have been a great support and knowing you are there does help more than I can say. And if I'm not talkative or quiet for awhile you know why. It has nothing to do with you and all with me. I'm trying to get well. Hoepfully I don't turn into Pete and become totally psycho drooling in some rubber room for years on end.


OBAMA

Obama, please make Hillary Secretary of State. If you don't I will be very upset and my have to do something drastic like down another klonpin. It won't be pretty. Hillary deserves it and since you practically stole the presidency from her, throw the woman a bone. My opinion of course, is there any other?

CAR ACCIDENT SURVIVIAL


Well my good friends and possibly family reading this, Iam home. A little worse for wear and SOAKED but otherwise. You will be glad to know I blew a tire. My dad changed it and is getting me a new one. Thank God for my Dad and Grandaddys money cause after payining all my bills do not have a lot left. Oh and thanks Jan for the walmart GC I used half and have $50 left for food.

DELETED FOR PRIVACYISSUES. I'm seeing a psych cause they can prescribe meds and damn you know I need my meds people.

So, right now not sure of much. Gonna see a shrink and see what that holds. I may stay here (I do like my job and I am doing well even though we've been bought out by Walgreen's Speciality PHarmacy) and I do have some OT coming up. THe people are nice as is my boss and for the most part it is not stressfull. Unfortunately there doesn't seem to be anyone to make frieds with as they are all older or youger than me. Or maybe it's me and I just don't know how to do it.

Perhaps I will go back to NH I don't know yet. If my father doesn't go then I'm not going. It will be hare with no place to live, no job, and the high cost of apts. I do have a nice one here I must admit that. And can you imagine having to move all this crap back and find a place to live. There goes Grandpas money for the most part.

DOn't think this has given up my dream of Calif for San Diego. I am going by hook or crook. I thought this was the way to do it as my parents told me it was but apparently we are all wrong and I need to get independent and more "emotionally well" with the help of psychs to get myself into the right frame to go. But I am going. There is nobody or nothing that will stop me from it except death it self. And even that won't keep me becuase as wacked as it may sound to you, I was meant (destined) to be there. Just maybe not as quickly as possible. I'm shooting for 45.

Thank you Paula, Janis, Audrey and all for being there for me. And for my parents who irritate the heck out of me (and vice versa) But I guess that's how it goes.

Damn it's late. I gotta go to bed. at least I don't have to be in work till 11:30. Goodnight and good mental health to us all.

MAKE IT STOP


This blog isn 't going to be funny or satirical. I need help. I don 't know what kind of help I n eed but Iam crying all the time, n ot happy, not eating and not sleeping. It seems n o matter where I go or what I do nothing helps. I don 't wan t to do an ythin gn or go anywhere. I wish this feelin g would end because I can 't stand it an ymore. ALL I can do is go to work and that takes a lot of effort. I can 't talk to an ybody because I just can 't bring myself to do it. If I tell my parents they will tell me to snap out it and deal with it. I can't. I don 't want to burden my friends with it. I just want to feel better one way or another.

PRESIDENT OBAMA

It's official, Obama is the next President of the United States. History has been made with the election of the first Africa-American President. Thank God we don't have to worry about Pallin for the time being but I'm sure she is going to find some way to keep herself in the public eye.

LOST

Look at that LOST counter on the right hand side! It's finally in the double digits. Woo hoo. Soon it's coming, soon I will get to feast on my half dressed Desmond! I can't wait!



ELECTION

Oh who will win tomorrow. I am voting for Obama. There I said it. It's no secret. I wanted to vote for Hillary and if that Pallin idiot were anywhere normal I might vote McCain hoping he'd croak and she would gain the top spot. But unfortunately, she is such an idiot my dead cat would make a better leader. So Obama it is. Either way history will be made: we will have the first Black President or the first female Vice President. It's about time!