LAST EPISODE OF LOST.......

Well, for at least a month. HA HA. Scared ya didn't I? Okay I scared myself but luckily it only lasted less than a time-travel-through-my-mind instant. Tonight on LOST we will be seeing more of Kevin Johnson AKA Michael. Maybe we'll find out how much he enjoys cleaning up the blood and tears on the good ship lollipop. Someone is supposed to die tonight. All I can say is, if it's Desmond, I will be so very very unhappy. I need my weekly fix of him in his unbuttoned shirt or I'll go insane. Not Minkowski insane mind you, just plain insane. I'm hoping this week's episode is more interesting then the prior find the panda one. I like Jin and Sun, but that was just too much. And I don't think Jin is dead. I think they are lying about that. The Oceanic 6 that is. And yeah, I guess I was wrong on the O6. It is supposedly Aaron who is the 6th and obviously NOT Jin. Well I can only go by the spoilers I read, I'm not psychic!


SPHINCTER: THE NEXT BIG PLASTIC SURGERY CRAZE!

Some German old lady is suing the hospital where she went in for a leg operation and got a brand spankin' (PUN ALERT) new anus instead. Yep, she was mixed up with some other patient who was suffering from incontinence and went in for surgery on her sphincter. Hey, the lady should be glad to have a new poop shoot at her age, you never know when it'll come in handy. And if that last sentence wasn't a blatant pun I don't know what is! HA HA. Once Hollywood gets (PUN ALERT) wind of this, the stars will all be clammering for new butt holes too. I bet Tom Cruise has already scheduled an appointment with his doctor!!!!!

JENNIFER LOPEZ'S TWINS

I don't care. But obviously I'm talking about it so I bet old Jello is happy. If I could cancel this issue of my PEOPLE subscription I would. I can't believe anyone would pay her $6 mil for pictures of her babies. So she gave birth? Wow. How uncommon. How incredible. Oh I'm just being snarky cause I can't stand Jello and her Skeletor husband. With all her money, her and hubby should give that $6 mil to charity. Instead, they are probably painting the nursery in 24 Karat gold.